THE UNUSUAL YEAR THAT WAS

I've been meaning to write about my 2018 for a while, but everytime I started thinking about what to write I got so overwhelmed I kept moving it from one to-do list to the next.

Today's the day I guess - much determination, no plan, no idea what the upcoming will look like; that kinda was the theme last year too.

This week last year I was made redundant. It sucked to be told that I didn't have a job anymore and I did have a lot of love for the business, but deep down I also knew it wasn't meant to be forever. I felt under-utilised while caring way too much. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do next either. So I took it as a sign that this was my chance to redesign my work world - this task we never seem to get around to because we're too busy/exhausted/distracted; this was the universe saying, you've got no excuses now.

Little did I know that not only my work world, but my whole world was gonna undergo a fair bit of redesigning. Relationship, family, friendships, identity - the challenges really lined themselves up last year. I learned so much, life has never so clearly shifted and evolved as it has over the last 12 months.

SCROLLING TO (IN)FINITY: 5 THINGS TO TRY TO GAIN BACK CONTROL OVER YOUR (SOCIAL) MEDIA CONSUMPTION

This is inspired by all the people that leave unconscructive comments all over the internet ("Nobody cares"; "I don't even know who these people are"; "5 minutes of my life I can't get back", and so on and so forth), but really is dedicated to those that don't but feel like their time on social media (or on their phone in general) can get a bit out of control sometimes. Like a great con artist, it lures you in, makes you stay and get cosy, then leaves you with nothing. Being human just like everyone else, I'm too familiar with this trap... after a long time of letting it dictate my downtime, I've tried a few things to take back the steering wheel (I still go visit obviously, but I'm driving myself there thanks). Here's where I'm at currently:


1. Decide which medium is meant to serve which purpose, then unsubscribe/unfollow ruthlessly
Every now and then I'm loathing that we have to be part of so many different social channels to get the right(-ish) mix of content and connection, but then I also realised that nothing should stop us from continuous content finetuning on each channel. Just like each social media platform is meant to serve a relatively specific purpose, we don't go to everyone we know and/or like for everything in life either.

I decided that Facebook is mainly for staying in touch with friends, family and acquaintances (and keeping tabs on who's now got children); Instagram is for creative inspiration (and memes involving funny kids and animals), and Twitter is solely for following a few artists and recording some of my random fleeting thoughts that no one needs to know about - so I've "cleaned up" accordingly. I've unsubscribed from all newsletters I hardly ever touch, and if it's from a business I do like I go follow them on a channel that suits (I've actually moved a lot of them onto my LinkedIn follow list). It also pays to spend a few extra seconds and untick all marketing boxes when signing up for something online, or hit unsubscribe as soon as you do even just an internal eyeroll when a newsletter arrives.

CONFESSIONS OF AN UNFIT PERSON: 5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED BY DOING THE SAME EXERCISE EVERY MORNING

Loryn Brantz knows what's up.

Before anyone comes at me because that's not how one is meant to exercise, I just want to clarify that I haven't ever truly pursued any proper exercise in my life (except for the bare minimum at school, a few yoga classes and a semi-decent run of No Lights No Lycra last year, which barely counts. Yoga with Adriene didn't work out either, as much as I liked her vibes - see post from 2013 lolz). Physical activity and I have always had a hard time becoming friends - he really exhausts me and I'm really good at ignoring him. However I'm highly aware that without it, I'm very likely to have a challenging time when I get a bit older; I look at my mum and for as long as I've been able to process her complaints, she's been constantly feeling unwell and has pains and aches that I don't think anyone only half-way through their expected lifespan should be having (however she did start exercising several years ago, so good on ya mum).

After multiple occasions of trying and failing to pull through, I've now set myself one single goal with the lowest bar possible: to exercise every single day, doing the shortest, simplest routine I've come across. I know myself well enough now to understand that no further intentions or goals will be able to motivate me in the initial stage of (hopefully) creating this new life-long habit of daily movement: screw the beach body, the ability to walk on my hands or any type of peer pressure. I'm happy to report that for the past month, I have not missed a single day. I still don't really enjoy it, but at least I've learned a few lessons that seem to keep me going.

WE CAN ONLY GET BETTER: WHY I (ALSO) WANT TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH

I came across these beautiful articles about the journey of creating a company mental health policy by the team at For The People. I was so moved and inspired, I decided I had to write some form of response in support and to join in on the efforts of continuing this conversation. I’ve done a bit of writing since but haven’t been pleased with most of what’s come together; I know the topic is so dear to me, however none of it yet truly reflected my sentiments when I talk about it with people face-to-face. So I tried again, this time asking myself the simplest question: why do I want to write about mental health?

First and foremost, because I care, and believe wholeheartedly that the more we talk about such publicly “uncomfortable” matters, the more comfortable it’s only gonna get.

 Image taken by me; Austin TX / June 2016

I’m inspired by the likes of Hannah Gadsby and Cameron Esposito who are sending powerful messages – that more people need to share their “too personal” stories; more people need to realise the issues behind the detrimental emotions and psychological costs these individuals endure; more people need to “get in the way” of people turning a blind eye and letting these issues get swept under the carpet.

I’m inspired by my beautiful friend L., who I love dearly and have such a strong bond with, while understanding the reality that I would never be able to truly know what it’s like to deal with her mental disorder. I want people to stop being afraid of the mere mention of “mental disorder” or “mental illness”, as I have the honour and blessing to be such close friends with someone that manages one. I’m proud to share that she’s one of the kindest, funniest, most determined, generous, hardworking, stylish and emotionally intelligent people I know. I want individuals like herself to live in a world where the focus lies on all the wonderful things she is and can do; where instead of feeling any need to hide her mental health experiences, she knows that everyone is rooting for her progress – the way we root for people that want to manage their physical illnesses and disorders.

I don’t live with a disorder, nor have I lived through any hardship or trauma. However I want to be part of this conversation because my heart breaks for the ones that do; the ones that have to contain these experiences within themselves and their homes as they worry people will distance themselves, or reduce them to this one aspect of their life if things come to light. I want for us to open up our hearts, remember our own pains, and ask ourselves what we wished for when we felt it: I’m sure we hoped for it to go away, and perhaps for someone to show up, embrace and assure us that it’s okay. I want us to remember the moments we felt lonely – when no one checked in, no one understood, no one bothered to ask. I want us to realise that just because we got over it, it doesn’t mean that it didn’t fucking hurt at the time. Please embrace others; bother to ask.

THE CASE OF CRUMBLING RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN US AND WORK

After leaving my previous work to take some time off for travelling and working out what I want to do next, I’m facing a fear I’ve never experienced before: the fear of joining the wrong workplace. Searching for a new role, I’ve realised the particular responsibilities isn’t necessarily where my main focus lies anymore. Sure, I’d still want to be interested in the tasks and feel that I have the capacity to fulfil them, however whatever they are I know that I’d be giving 100% to get them done as thoroughly as I can. My main concern has shifted to whom I will be working for: I want to work for someone that truly believes in what they do, knows why they do it and inspires their team to commit to this journey with them. I want to be part of a team that takes their work seriously, looks out for one another, feels safe to challenge the circumstances and does this with their best intentions. Unlike knowing the type of responsibilities I’m signing myself up for when applying for a job, how can I be sure of what kind of work environment I’ll be in for?

The interesting thing is that currently I’m surrounded by people who are going through related issues: people in their “dream jobs” burning out because there isn’t enough support; people wasting time trying to piece together their available resources or keeping up with the changes because communication within the organisation is poor; people with high potential being placed in challenging roles but being provided with little to no structured development plans, mentoring or consistent feedback. All these people are really close to me and I know they take their careers seriously. Why are our relationships with our workplace breaking down?

HOBART, YOU LITTLE STUNNER. A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO TASSIE'S CAPITAL

I know our trip was a few weeks back now, but it's not like I've been able to stop thinking about it.

Here's what we saw, ate and did. I say "beginner's guide" meaning a guide of a beginner to Hobart, but I expect to become an expert at some stage - already thinking about when to go back next...


The city of Hobart is very, very charming: colonial architecture, big boulevards laced with smaller, cosy streets and alleyways, hilly scenery, and a gorgeous harbour. Food is fresh and in abundance and so tasty; it's definitely a bit of food heaven down there (as you should know we base our destination decisions on how good the food reputation is). Art is everywhere too, it's definitely not just MONA. People are cheeky, creative and superbly chill. They just seem to have a really, really good life there.

THE CHRISTMAS GIFT BUYING GUIDE

1- I know what you're thinking - "It's only October dude! Fuckin' chill the fuck out." But what's the most hated thing about Christmas? Running around like a maniac doing last-minute Christmas shopping (and for the receivers, getting shit gifts as a result). So first tip: Start early. I think we're already behind now that it's end of October, because two years ago by mid November I had all my presents wrapped and it felt pretty damn good.

2- ... Because this way you can put some proper thoughts into your gifts. Write down all the people you'd like to get a present for, next to which you can also record their interests, as well as your ideas and finds. Starting early gives you more time for brainstorming and browsing for the best gifts. Also, keeping track of who's already got a present and who still needs one gives you an idea of how much time you've got to cover the list.

3- Be selective about who gets a gift. It's all about the thought anyway! If there's people in your circle you won't be able to wow with a great gift (because of budget reasons or you don't love them as much anymore or whatever), don't give them a mediocre one that'll clutter their home. Write a nice card or give them some home-baked goodies - way better than some stupid business card holder...

4- Let the internet be at your service. Seriously, if there's free or cheap shipping offered to send your gift to a friend at the other end of the world, just do it - opening a parcel is just as exciting as ripping off wrapping paper (just send a separate greeting card if you find it too impersonal... whatevs). By the time it makes it to your home, you wrap it and send it off again, it mightn't even make it to their house this season because it took you too much effort.
If you have no clue what to get (especially for those people that already have everything), let pages like Svpply.com give you a hand with cool shit that's trending around the world; it's also an amazing source for unique stores. On the other hand, if you know what you want to get but it's sold out where you saw it (mainly clothing and accessories), hit up Polyvore.com, which will spit out all sorts of stockists and price points for you to pick and choose. Of course Ebay is a trusted old friend that can assist with all sorts of occasions (and bargains), as does Etsy with vintage-y, hand-madey things.

5- Don't underestimate the wrapping paper... because if you leave that to the last-minute too, you might end up with some tacky supermarket stuff (and cardboard boxes only work if shipped via air mail). If you wanna go all out, do your rounds at the likes of Pulp, Kikki K and Paper2; if you're a hipster cheapskate like myself, a roll of brown paper from the news agency and some twine should still land you some oohs and aahs.

I'm not claiming to be the best Christmas gift giver, however I know I'm much better at it if I get into it early and prepared (as opposed to my boyfriend for example... just kidding. He's actually getting pretty damn good at it - maybe just for me though because I set the bars so high). If you do need a little help with ideas, check out my gift guide below (many of which I'd like to receive myself... HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE).

From left to right, top to bottom:

1- Kinfolk: "The Kinfolk Table: Recipes for Small Gatherings" cookbook

2- Cuisinart: Ice cream maker

3- TMOD: Chalkboard paint kit

4- Ambre Botanicals: Rosemary, thyme and mint invigorating herbal bath oil

5- Voluspa: "Japonica" scalloped edge glass candle

6- Jimbobart: "Sandwich Defender Bear" side plate

7- Monocle: One-year gift subscription

8- Copernicus Toys: Crystal growing: Saguaro cactus

9- Kareena Zerefos: "Beyond the Menagerie" print

10- Less & More: Cosmetic make-up organiser

11- Eliza Spell: "Lithium" brass bracelet

12- Henry Langdon: Cocoa and chai spice

13- Natalie Marie Jewellery: Tiny pyrite ring

14- Laguiole: Cheese knife set

15- Fjällräven: "Kanken" Classic backpack

16- Nixon: "The Kensington" watch

Don't shop too hard. x